The Ugly Cry // Hannah Dawber

Hey all!! I’m Hannah Dawber, I’m 25 years old, I’m from the beautiful New England area and I’m glad you could join me in taking over Rachael’s blog!! She’s such a fun uplifting blogger isn’t she? I’m so stoked to have collaborated with her and get to meet you all! So, I love the idea and act of championing each other forward. We all need encouragement right? Well, I know I do. So I wanted to drop a little story off on Rach’s page that I hope fills you with some thinking, action, and healing. 

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This one’s called: The ugly cry.

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I've been in a bit of a battle with my emotions lately. When I explain the situation to others it sounds rather insignificant, but it occupies my mind so frequent there must be a reason behind why this scenario is dominating my thoughts and feelings each day. Maybe it is because I love control and in this situation I have none. And let me tell you, when I'm not in control I become that obnoxious crying kid you see at the toy store screaming at their parent. "Why can't I have it?" I shout through my ugly cry.  "Because I said so, you need to wait." My mom says walking towards another isle as if I am not her kid having the tantrum. I have to wait? Wait for what? She doesn't understand how badly I need what I want. It sounds so ridiculous that I could still ugly cry like a kid, but I do some times. More so to my Heavenly Father, although my mom still hears it occasionally.

Wanting control is a disgusting leach I can't get rid of. It sucks the life from me and derails my perspective of truth. It’s nothing but an anxiety inducer I rather pretend isn’t there; but that would only extend its existence. 

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I was with a few close friends recently and we were deep in discussion about the importance of setting our eyes on God’s truth. The enemy is amazing at deceiving us and manipulating us into believing false truths. I’d say media is the enemy’s biggest platform to shove us full of lies, but he is literally found hunting in almost every building we enter. He just won’t stop until he has tricked us all. One of my friends spoke up and said something that I think I should have a strong grasp on by now, but I don’t. It’s one of those things I think I, and maybe a lot of others, will have to be reminded of often. She said, “Sometimes we don’t need to know all the answers when we face these hard moments, we just need to set our eyes on Jesus as true and as our guide.” I immediately responded,” Yes, we focus our attention so much on the details of the situation that we miss God’s truth. The details most likely won’t even have significance to the end result.” God knows what He is doing, so if I find it within me to trust Him through this situation, like similar past scenarios, I will most likely get an even better ending than what I had a tantrum for in the first place. It may not be the easiest journey or ending, but if my God is true and faithful He will only give me what He knows will be best for me. 

Ever been here before? Maybe you don’t ugly cry like me, but maybe you have felt that raging battle to control and obtain what you want when you want it. Or maybe it’s trust that is hard for you? Trusting that even if the end result isn’t a happily ever after moment that He knew what was best. It’s good to pin point what prompts you to cut in and try and manipulate God’s work. The first step of overcoming is acknowledging what it is you battle. So, for me it’s usually control and for you it is…?

Until next time…

Please please please go get in touch with Hannah. She's always eager to encourage you, build you up, and be the kindest human on this planet. Go visit her website and follow her on Instagram @hannahdawbs!