Ceana Bailey // June's Love Story
This month I have the privilege to share with you a story from one of my closest friends, Ceana. I have known her since she was in 6th grade, and I've seen her grow so much. I've learned so much from her and her walk with the Lord and she inspires me to go after Him day after day. Ceana, I truly look up to you in so many ways! You will change the world! You go girl! Love you!
I'm Ceana, and this is what the Lord has put on my heart to talk about. I have always been the joyful one in the bunch. Despite all of my crazy circumstances I've been through, I have never lost that joy. All my life I was told things like, "You are just a little ball of sunshine," or, "You've got a smile that can light up a room." It's true. I've always looked for the good in my situation, I have always lived in the present, and I have always been the person that people are drawn to talk to about their lives.
In 2014, I started going to the youth group at my church. Through the past 3 years I have found that people come to me to talk to about what their struggles are and for advice. I have always been happy to talk and that I am someone they are comfortable with enough to tell these personal struggles. For 3 years I have always been there to answer calls at 3am when my friends needed someone to talk to. I have always been there to give advice and just let them know it's gonna be okay. I have been there to tell people that they are loves and it's okay to not be okay.
Recently I have lost some of the joy that I've always had growing up. I have been in places of just not being happy or feeling numb. I've prayed to God, "Just have someone realize that I'm not okay and need to talk." I've expected some people to be there for me like the millions of times I've been there for them. I've expected them to ask, "How are you?" I started reading quotes like, "Sometimes the person that has been there for everyone else needs someone to be there for them." This is completely true, but to an extent. In this rough season I have found a beautiful, beautiful, thing.
Being there for someone and knowing they trust you is one of the best feelings in the world. When someone tells you something that no one else knows about them, you realize that they chose you because they knew you would have the best response. Don't get me wrong, I love this, but it comes to a point where you need to be there for yourself before you can be there for others, and I wasn't doing that. I was mad at my friends that they didn't know I needed them in my worst moments, but that wasn't their fault.
I can't just not say anything and expect them to fix my life.
I could have texted anyone and just said, "Hey, I'm not doing well, do you have a second to listen?" But I didn't and that's okay because a beautiful lesson came out of it. You can't always count on people to be there for you because THEY ARE HUMAN TOO. They are not perfect. They are not genius. THEY ARE HUMAN. The only person that will always be there for you is GOD.
In this time that I was struggling saying no one is here for me, I was insulting my Father who is sitting right there listening. Right there begging for me to talk to Him and stop ignoring Him. I am so glad that I learned this now because now I just talk to my Father. Yes, it is amazing to have friends checking up on you, and continue doing that to your friends.
But it is even better knowing that your Dad is always right there for you.
In the hardest times when it feels like you're alone I encourage you to just sit and catch up with God. My joy has returned and the feeling is so great.
Now go ask a few people how they're doing!